by Ryan Allen


Today, a journey begins.

It’s been happening for years,

these travels,

but like many things

I’ve been too afraid to share.


Now I know this cannot wait. And now,

I accept that I can’t wait

for it to come out perfect.


Today, I take a long look

down a winding path.


And when I fix my gaze

I learn by looking—

that this path is leading me

to where I’ve been all along,

to where I spend the most time,

but unfortunately probably recognize the least, the path

in my past where I’ve logged millions of moments

wildly running away from.



I come home to myself.


I read the book that is my life

at the same time as I write and revise it.



I come humbly to some important truths, bowing

before the forces that have shaped my journey thus far. I look

into my past, and now, with a deep breath in and out,


I let it go. I let go

of all the moments I wasn’t the person I wanted to be. I let go

of all the times I quit because things were too hard. I let go

of the noise and seek a silence—


a quiet both heavy and dark, a silence

that is also


full of light.

I enter into a dream I can control. I enter

into this thing called my choice.


So, now I make these choices—


that my meditation is God speaking to me;

that my whole life is an act of creation;

that my heart is open and ready to receive;

that my will is stronger than my thoughts; my will is the me behind my thoughts;

that my mind will take me far, but my soul is without bounds; my thoughts are not me—they will



the eternal I am will never go away.


And here, in this place of quiet, I look inward

and I feel a great glow:


You don’t have a soul, I hear,

you are a soul,

you have a body.


And I feel

that I am everything I need to be.


I retreat into my Self.

I stand atop the mountain

within my Himalayan soul.


I am being.

I am consciousness.

I am joy.


I fill what is empty.

I empty what is full.


I am light.

I am love.

I am life.

I am alive in the present moment.

And this present is a present,

so I unwrap the gift of awareness of

the infinite now.

I am free.

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