STEPPING INTO THIS LIFE
by Ryan Allen
Today, a journey begins.
It’s been happening for years,
but like many things
I’ve been too afraid to share.
Now I know this cannot wait. And now,
I accept that I can’t wait
for it to come out perfect.
Today, I take a long look
down a winding path.
And when I fix my gaze
I learn by looking—
that this path is leading me
to where I’ve been all along,
to where I spend the most time,
but unfortunately probably recognize the least, the path
in my past where I’ve logged millions of moments
wildly running away from.
I come home to myself.
I read the book that is my life
at the same time as I write and revise it.
I come humbly to some important truths, bowing
before the forces that have shaped my journey thus far. I look
into my past, and now, with a deep breath in and out,
I let it go. I let go
of all the moments I wasn’t the person I wanted to be. I let go
of all the times I quit because things were too hard. I let go
of the noise and seek a silence—
a quiet both heavy and dark, a silence
that is also
full of light.
I enter into a dream I can control. I enter
into this thing called my choice.
So, now I make these choices—
that my meditation is God speaking to me;
that my whole life is an act of creation;
that my heart is open and ready to receive;
that my will is stronger than my thoughts; my will is the me behind my thoughts;
that my mind will take me far, but my soul is without bounds; my thoughts are not me—they will
the eternal I am will never go away.
And here, in this place of quiet, I look inward
and I feel a great glow:
You don’t have a soul, I hear,
you are a soul,
you have a body.
And I feel
that I am everything I need to be.
I retreat into my Self.
I stand atop the mountain
within my Himalayan soul.
I am being.
I am consciousness.
I am joy.
I fill what is empty.
I empty what is full.
I am light.
I am love.
I am life.
I am alive in the present moment.
And this present is a present,
so I unwrap the gift of awareness of
the infinite now.
I am free.